But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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