so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Let's get the cat blown out
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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