I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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