I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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