Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
why is half of my head shaved?
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