I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
