Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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