I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
