The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
