suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
