her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize