just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
