PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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