New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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