listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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