What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
