But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just gargled with NyQuil
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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