its not stalking. its research.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
