I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
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Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
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Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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