So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
