just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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