Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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