Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
