Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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