I accidentally burped into my bong.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize