I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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