im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize