Sry I called you an 8
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize