Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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