Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
