I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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