And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
