This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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