3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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