Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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