Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
