Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
