Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Be still, my beating vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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