You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
