I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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