I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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