I accidentally burped into my bong.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
