sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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