Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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