Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
