i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
