it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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