You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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