i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
