YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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