no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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