i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
