Sry I called you an 8
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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