i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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