Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
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This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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