You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
