Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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