Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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