I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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