9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
